An Ideal Man
I want a man who does not spend most of his time talking.
But someone who spends his time using his hands to build or create something.
I want a man who does not give so much effort to convince others that he is right
I want a man who spends time listening to others and is interested in their ideas.
A person who seldom speaks, but when he does people believe on him.
I want a man who does not show his power
By making a woman obey or agrees with him
A man who respects women
And sees them as co-equals in thoughts and in deeds
Not someone who claims that he is someone progressive
And yet does verbal and physical assault on women…
I want a man who does not tell me who is the author of this book and that, the ideas of various philosophers and who were the presidents of the United States.
Because I am not that smart
I want to listen to man who knows the root causes of the injustices in the world
And at the same time can also talk about a telenovela or a funny experience that
had happened during the day.
I want a man who believes in science
But at the bottom of his heart he believes in God….or at least doubts that GOD does not exist.
I want a man who can defend me and who is not a coward.
Someone who knows when to retreat and when to fight
I want a man who seems arrogant but gentle inside.
I want a man who could be easily pleased by merely cooking him a food.
I want a man who is funny
Someone who does not joke at my expense.
I want a man I can request to do some errands
A man I can ask to fix the rooftop
A type of man I will definitely and gladly serve with all my heart.
I want a man not easily rattled
A man who can maintain presence of mind in times of emergency.
Maybe it is impossible to find a man who has all these qualities.
Well I will just dream that he exists…
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Thursday, July 03, 2008
the picture was taken from the internet, the website I cannot remember
But hate is not the opposite of love
Fear is the opposite of love
Fear that is usually nurtured by ego
The ego that refuses to get intimate or get closer
to another human being
The ego that refuses to be reminded that one can trust
and love another person
The ego that keeps on saying ... you do not need
anybody
The ego that makes us proud...
Fear is the opposite of love...
Friday, June 06, 2008
Still in the Boundaries
There are people who project through laughter and smile
That everything is fine, everything is cool….
But in the deepest part of their heart
They truly hate themselves.
There are people who waste a lot of things, even friendship
Because they thought they have everything
They always said they can live the lives they used to live
The same life, the same old feeling of loosing someone…but feeling the vacuum
There are people who have some issues within themselves
That they admit and recognize…but refuse to change
Some pretend it’s a part of their being that they cannot control
But actually selective in situations when “being out of control”
There are always reasons for these behaviors
Some were just results of others’ behavior… even way back in the past
But I think these people are still in the boundaries
Where one can still see a greater light
It is a struggle…it is a constant struggle to be sane
It is a constant struggle to be good
And for those who are still in the boundaries
I truly hope they won’t miss a good opportunity given to them
Opportunities that they can only see through humility…..
Thursday, May 15, 2008
PILGRIMAGE TO AUSTRIA
When I was told by Misty that I will go to Austria, deep inside I was not really excited. Of course I felt that I should be very happy because they chose me and had given me such great opportunity, an opportunity all my co workers in the office would be very happy to have if given the chance. For me, it was more of following an instruction rather than being happy of hearing the good news. So I pretended that I was really excited and delighted. I felt I was not in the position to say no to this trip given the fact that I knew Misty would ask the reason why and I would not be able to justify my answer.
It was more of fear why I had such apprehension. It was fear of being separated from Amiel, fear of riding in airplanes, fear of walking far distances because I knew I would experience that in Austria, fear of not seeing my family and friends for a long time, fear of being in unfamiliar and far place…fear of what would happen to me there….
My first week in Austria was really difficult. It was too cold and I had very few clothes I brought with me. My shoes were not appropriate for such weather. Everyday my stomach aches because of adjustment to different kinds of food. Every now and then my body trembles due to cold winds and I felt so weak. I walked 7 kilometers everyday to go to the venue or join the guided tours around the city. This might be very enjoyable to some but to me it was a challenge and a difficult task. Worst, at first I did not like some of my Filipino companions…I felt I would not be able to make friends with them. Their actions and comments were irritating to me and yet I stayed quiet to prevent more conflicts with them given the fact we were just starting the journey.
Everyday we have to go to different places and organizations like organizations catering for women, children, refugees, feeding centers for street people, gypsies, places/parks were drug addicts hang out, parishes, youth organizations, children carol singers raising funds for our projects, farmers etc. In these organizations, I repeatedly introduced TFDP and explained our work to them especially the human rights situation in the Philippines. At first I noticed that the organizers of the trip were not very familiar with the human rights condition in the Philippines because they only had their exposure on the issues of mining and IPs and the work of the KUMARE ( a women organization). These are organizations where Austrian KAPINTIG group went to in their exposure in the Philippines. This was the reason that they know some of my companions and had already established deep relationship with them.
Their interest grew in human rights when they heard our presentation . Maybe masyado madrama nai-present pero yun ang mga facts eh. They commented that they were impressed with our presentation in the university students, and also during the benefit concert and requested me to be the first one to present human rights issues during our meeting with the Governor of Styria and the meeting with the parliament member of the European Union. Actions were planned out as result of our meeting with the EU. I also took the opportunity during our meeting with the KFB ( Catholic Women’s Movement) to ask them for the possibility of funding women victims of human rights violations and they said there might be possibility , I will just have to try..
Alongside these events were also opportunities to visit the churches. Everyday and every place I go, there was the sign of the cross. I thought this country is just like Philippines…so many symbols of the Catholic faith. In every place I go there was a big and beautiful church but they said very few Austrian are actually going to church. Even in all the places we slept , in all the rooms that we had… there was the cross sign.. I just thought to myself the sign is everywhere. Everyday i see the sign in almost all corners.
One day we had an evaluation for our first two weeks in Austria. Our facilitator asked us to go outside and look at the trees and flowers before we start our evaluation. When I was outside I started to look at the trees and the flowers. I looked at them closely and said to myself they were very beautiful. And then suddenly I felt overwhelmed…tears came out from my eyes..I felt GOD is talking to me through the trees and the flowers..I felt he is saying to me look at these flowers and you will know and understand my greatness…this was your opportunity to really look at the flowers and notice me again… they seemed to be telling me let go of my fears and baggages …then I realized going to Austria was indeed an opportunity…. It was a gift from GOD….as if he is making his presence known to me again through this trip…. I felt incredibly in awe. While I shared this to our group I could not help but cried again. In the Philippines, I never had the time to really look at the flowers and trees.
On the date of my birthday, they said that we will go to the place they call “the SOURCE”. When we were still in the vehicle, I thought to myself this place might be located in the side of the hill. After two hours trip we arrived in the place and it was indeed located in the side of the hill. And I actually dreamt of a house in the hill before I went to Austria . I looked out at my bedroom window and I was overwhelmed again to realize that It was just like in my dream. The bedroom window was in the same location. In that place we had meditations and two old women were the ones facilitating these activities. Well I thought what is this place? I had question before since I was in high school and this was “what is the source of all things?” When we were about to leave the house, one old woman hug me and said to me you have such a very bright spirit and smiled to me .
The day before we went to Belgium, I suddenly had a fear attack but I could not identify the source or the reason.. I just felt bad things will happen.. I prayed so hard to GOD that he will take care of me and my love ones. I prayed to him that as an assurance and as a sign I wish to see red flowers when I went out of the hotel where we checked in the night before. When we went outside of the hotel, I immediately went to a table near to put my bag and while waiting for the rest of my companions I put down my bag and raised by head.. there in front of me were bunch of very red flowers.. I do not know the name of the flowers. I just felt amazed. This might be the sign to stay calm.
I felt GOD helped me survived and coped up with the trip to Austria. He is in the people who walked slowly, held my arms and hands to help me walk the long kilometers so I can go to many places, the people who carried my heavy bags, the person who helped me get up when I fell down in the floor, the person who carried me in his back because my feet were already numb because of the snow. The person who calm me down when I heard my son was sick and the peopIe who invited us to their homes and offered us their food. I could not believe that are still many nice and good people in this world…. I felt GOD reminded me of that in this trip. And by doing so he reminded me that he truly exists. He symbolizes all my good hopes.
I really felt that this trip to Austria was truly a gift…it was also a pilgrimage for me.
When I was told by Misty that I will go to Austria, deep inside I was not really excited. Of course I felt that I should be very happy because they chose me and had given me such great opportunity, an opportunity all my co workers in the office would be very happy to have if given the chance. For me, it was more of following an instruction rather than being happy of hearing the good news. So I pretended that I was really excited and delighted. I felt I was not in the position to say no to this trip given the fact that I knew Misty would ask the reason why and I would not be able to justify my answer.
It was more of fear why I had such apprehension. It was fear of being separated from Amiel, fear of riding in airplanes, fear of walking far distances because I knew I would experience that in Austria, fear of not seeing my family and friends for a long time, fear of being in unfamiliar and far place…fear of what would happen to me there….
My first week in Austria was really difficult. It was too cold and I had very few clothes I brought with me. My shoes were not appropriate for such weather. Everyday my stomach aches because of adjustment to different kinds of food. Every now and then my body trembles due to cold winds and I felt so weak. I walked 7 kilometers everyday to go to the venue or join the guided tours around the city. This might be very enjoyable to some but to me it was a challenge and a difficult task. Worst, at first I did not like some of my Filipino companions…I felt I would not be able to make friends with them. Their actions and comments were irritating to me and yet I stayed quiet to prevent more conflicts with them given the fact we were just starting the journey.
Everyday we have to go to different places and organizations like organizations catering for women, children, refugees, feeding centers for street people, gypsies, places/parks were drug addicts hang out, parishes, youth organizations, children carol singers raising funds for our projects, farmers etc. In these organizations, I repeatedly introduced TFDP and explained our work to them especially the human rights situation in the Philippines. At first I noticed that the organizers of the trip were not very familiar with the human rights condition in the Philippines because they only had their exposure on the issues of mining and IPs and the work of the KUMARE ( a women organization). These are organizations where Austrian KAPINTIG group went to in their exposure in the Philippines. This was the reason that they know some of my companions and had already established deep relationship with them.
Their interest grew in human rights when they heard our presentation . Maybe masyado madrama nai-present pero yun ang mga facts eh. They commented that they were impressed with our presentation in the university students, and also during the benefit concert and requested me to be the first one to present human rights issues during our meeting with the Governor of Styria and the meeting with the parliament member of the European Union. Actions were planned out as result of our meeting with the EU. I also took the opportunity during our meeting with the KFB ( Catholic Women’s Movement) to ask them for the possibility of funding women victims of human rights violations and they said there might be possibility , I will just have to try..
Alongside these events were also opportunities to visit the churches. Everyday and every place I go, there was the sign of the cross. I thought this country is just like Philippines…so many symbols of the Catholic faith. In every place I go there was a big and beautiful church but they said very few Austrian are actually going to church. Even in all the places we slept , in all the rooms that we had… there was the cross sign.. I just thought to myself the sign is everywhere. Everyday i see the sign in almost all corners.
One day we had an evaluation for our first two weeks in Austria. Our facilitator asked us to go outside and look at the trees and flowers before we start our evaluation. When I was outside I started to look at the trees and the flowers. I looked at them closely and said to myself they were very beautiful. And then suddenly I felt overwhelmed…tears came out from my eyes..I felt GOD is talking to me through the trees and the flowers..I felt he is saying to me look at these flowers and you will know and understand my greatness…this was your opportunity to really look at the flowers and notice me again… they seemed to be telling me let go of my fears and baggages …then I realized going to Austria was indeed an opportunity…. It was a gift from GOD….as if he is making his presence known to me again through this trip…. I felt incredibly in awe. While I shared this to our group I could not help but cried again. In the Philippines, I never had the time to really look at the flowers and trees.
On the date of my birthday, they said that we will go to the place they call “the SOURCE”. When we were still in the vehicle, I thought to myself this place might be located in the side of the hill. After two hours trip we arrived in the place and it was indeed located in the side of the hill. And I actually dreamt of a house in the hill before I went to Austria . I looked out at my bedroom window and I was overwhelmed again to realize that It was just like in my dream. The bedroom window was in the same location. In that place we had meditations and two old women were the ones facilitating these activities. Well I thought what is this place? I had question before since I was in high school and this was “what is the source of all things?” When we were about to leave the house, one old woman hug me and said to me you have such a very bright spirit and smiled to me .
The day before we went to Belgium, I suddenly had a fear attack but I could not identify the source or the reason.. I just felt bad things will happen.. I prayed so hard to GOD that he will take care of me and my love ones. I prayed to him that as an assurance and as a sign I wish to see red flowers when I went out of the hotel where we checked in the night before. When we went outside of the hotel, I immediately went to a table near to put my bag and while waiting for the rest of my companions I put down my bag and raised by head.. there in front of me were bunch of very red flowers.. I do not know the name of the flowers. I just felt amazed. This might be the sign to stay calm.
I felt GOD helped me survived and coped up with the trip to Austria. He is in the people who walked slowly, held my arms and hands to help me walk the long kilometers so I can go to many places, the people who carried my heavy bags, the person who helped me get up when I fell down in the floor, the person who carried me in his back because my feet were already numb because of the snow. The person who calm me down when I heard my son was sick and the peopIe who invited us to their homes and offered us their food. I could not believe that are still many nice and good people in this world…. I felt GOD reminded me of that in this trip. And by doing so he reminded me that he truly exists. He symbolizes all my good hopes.
I really felt that this trip to Austria was truly a gift…it was also a pilgrimage for me.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
People are Suckers
People are selfish in different ways.
There are people who suck out energies from you in different manners.
People who want to spend almost the entire time (in almost all instances with the person) , you listening to them
Listening to their pains, their heartaches….
Some would want you to listen to them so that you would appreciate how intelligent they are
Of how much they know about almost everything…..everything about this world
Because when the time comes when you would speak out and get the spotlight
They can’t afford to give you the length of time they usually want to have for themselves.
They can’t stand to listen long…the way they want you to listen to them.
When the topic is no longer about them, they tend to say goodbye.
Some would take advantage of your weaknesses and exploit you.
Those who get something from you because they know you like them too much to say no.
There are people who remember you only in times of despair…
Those who remember you when they can’t be together with people they want to be with.
Those would remember you if they got no money and they want you to treat them out.
There are those who use you as a buffer
They want you to take the blame even though the mistake is really theirs.
They wash their hands…… they do not want to be accountable
Those who want to put all their anger to you because they can’t put it to the person that they are really angry with…Because they like the person too much.
And if there are victories you have achieved …these people would want to be identified as a major part of that victories.
There are people who are just there with you because they have no other options.
And if options come, they say goodbye….and no longer contact you anymore.
And then they contact you again…. When there are no options again.
There are those who visit your house because they can’t find a cheaper place to date...or if they want to kill time before going to their date.
I do not say I am not one of these people.
In many instances in my life….. I am also a selfish person
But sometimes I feel heartbroken……..
I have not met a person who finds happiness giving out her/his energies to others
Maybe I would not find them because their energies are also drained.
Drained by the people who are sucker of energies.
I just wish I would have lots and lots of energies ….
I just wish I have lots and lots of love….. for these people
I do not wish to loose love………
I wish it will be replaced every time they would suck them out.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Sa katagalan ng hindi ko pagsusulat sa blog ko nakalimutan ko password ko at buti na lang nakapagsulat ako ulit....
Since Valentines Day...natuwa ako sa dati kong isinulat nung 2005 o 2006 sa www.ratatitat.blogspot.com at gusto kong dagdagan...
GANUN LANG TALAGA
May mga bagay talaga dito sa mundo na hindi pwedeng maging sa yo.
Mas masaya ka kung kaibigan mo lang sila
Mas matatahimik ka kung ipagdadasal mo na lang
Mas madali ang buhay kung pababayaan mo lang
Mga bagay na pwede mo lang tingnan at sulyapan
Mga ngiting maaari mo lang baunin sa iyong pag-iisa
Mga alaala na pwede mo namang balik-balikan
Ganun lang talaga, mas maganda sila pag ganun lang
Mas magtatagal pag ganun lang
At sa araw-araw pwedeng mag-pyesta ang iyong mga mata
At sa araw-araw maiisip mo, maraming maganda pa rin sa mundo
---
At sa araw araw maiinspire ka
At sa araw araw lalakas ang loob mo
At sa araw araw maiisip mo hindi ka pala addict
May mga bagay na masarap lang talagang titigan
Kasi pwedeng maglaho kapag hinawakan mo na
May mga taong masarap lang talagang patawanin
Kasi nakaka praning kapag sila ang wala sa mood
Ganun lang talaga...marami palang bagay na espesyal kahit ganun lang talaga.
Since Valentines Day...natuwa ako sa dati kong isinulat nung 2005 o 2006 sa www.ratatitat.blogspot.com at gusto kong dagdagan...
GANUN LANG TALAGA
May mga bagay talaga dito sa mundo na hindi pwedeng maging sa yo.
Mas masaya ka kung kaibigan mo lang sila
Mas matatahimik ka kung ipagdadasal mo na lang
Mas madali ang buhay kung pababayaan mo lang
Mga bagay na pwede mo lang tingnan at sulyapan
Mga ngiting maaari mo lang baunin sa iyong pag-iisa
Mga alaala na pwede mo namang balik-balikan
Ganun lang talaga, mas maganda sila pag ganun lang
Mas magtatagal pag ganun lang
At sa araw-araw pwedeng mag-pyesta ang iyong mga mata
At sa araw-araw maiisip mo, maraming maganda pa rin sa mundo
---
At sa araw araw maiinspire ka
At sa araw araw lalakas ang loob mo
At sa araw araw maiisip mo hindi ka pala addict
May mga bagay na masarap lang talagang titigan
Kasi pwedeng maglaho kapag hinawakan mo na
May mga taong masarap lang talagang patawanin
Kasi nakaka praning kapag sila ang wala sa mood
Ganun lang talaga...marami palang bagay na espesyal kahit ganun lang talaga.
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